From us ("the wishors") to you ("hereinafter called the wishee"):
Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all… and a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or dietary preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting you are bound by the following terms:
a. This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal.
b. This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishors are acknowledged.
c. This greeting implies no promise by the wishors to actually implement any of the wishes.
d. This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishors.
e. This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within
the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.
f. The wishors warrant this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishors.
g. Any references in this greeting to "the Lord", "Father Christmas", "Our Saviour", or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead, alive or risen, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.
If you have not agreed to the above terms and conditions, please stop reading here and destroy this document. Assuming that you have accepted the above terms, as you have continued to read the document, please accept our sincere wishes as stated above.
Nevin, Ramos & Steele, Attorneys at Law